Pre-Departure Reflections and Thank You's

I leave on Sunday. A couple weeks ago I was thinking about departure and was pretty stressed out. I was breaking out, not eating, and had major acid in my stomach. I'm surprised this last week in the states all of that has, for the most part, gone away. What changed? Maybe I have resigned to the fact that I am leaving soon or maybe my mind and body is doing that tunnel-vision super Jedi focus thing that happens to people who are on the pinnacle of embarking on a life altering journey and ultimately realizing the true potential of their fantastic, aligned-by-the-stars, divine destiny of total awesomeness. I'll laugh at this sentence when I'm taking a dump in a hole a couple weeks from now. I mean I feel really focused and it just happened out of nowhere. I'm not complaining. Don't get me wrong, this last week has been emotional. I've woken up in tears and have had melodramatic goodbyes with friends and families at airports. I'm not really an expressive or affectionate person (some people say I talk like a robot) so this has been way more feelings than I'm used to. Way more... If I had it my way, I'd just leave and not say goodbye to anyone. But that'd be super rude, especially if I died. This easy-going attitude will most likely change as I leave for the airport for the final goodbye.

Helping others. I joined the Peace Corps because I believe in helping others. In my eyes, there is this glorified image of what a Peace Corps volunteer does to help others. You know the image of the starry-eyed young person walking hand-in-hand with an African child. or holding a ruler up in science class while contemplating a test tube or something. I'm American, I'm awesome, and let me educate you image. I'm approaching my service and my idea of help extremely objectively. If I have a skill you want, I'll transfer it to you. I hope to enter Malagasy communities and approach each individual as my equal or even teacher. Not view them as people who need to be saved. There is no rule that says just because someone has less money than you that they are any less than you and that you know what is good for their personal happiness. Who the hell am I? Just some random dude that's worked a bit and capitalizing on my experience to travel to an awesome place. Fact: I'll be doing all the learning. Fact#2: I'll be doing most of the changing.

Back to my friends and family before I close this entry. None of you will ever know how much I love and thank you all. I have taken these relationships for granted. I'm only human, you don't realize what you have until you are about to lose it all. I've averaged about 2 major goodbyes a day for the last week, and usually mass anythings operate like Costco. mass produced, diluted, diminishing marginal returns. But none of them have been that way for me and I've probably said goodbye to about fifteen people. I thank you so much for your support- coworkers, friends, family. Thank you so much in advance for sending me packages of ramen and beef jerky after I run out as well.

Outtie.